Chapter 04: A Gecko In Distress

One week after Qicak came to him for help, Dirty Tortoise still had not come up with a plan, even though he could clearly see that Qicak was growing more distraught by the day. This wasn’t really his fault. You see, this was a rather complicated problem for mere animals to handle, and required a hero of some sort. And although most of the animals in the Wet Market regarded Dirty Tortoise as some sort of hero (mostly because of the part he supposedly played some years back in saving the Wet Market from being burnt down, which is another story for another day); he was actually not a very heroic sort.

In fact, if he were a human superhero, he’d be called Procrastination Man, because he moved so slowly, and was always putting things off until the very last minute. This time though, because it was his good friend Qicak who was in trouble, he managed to think a lot faster… where it used to take him two weeks to come up with an idea, this time he managed to take only a week.

That he managed to get a plan so quickly was thanks in part to Ah Choi’s current obsession in the newspaper’s reporting of Temelo politics; and his fervent and impassioned debates with Baw Ang the onion seller next door about how inept the Very Important Politician actually was.

Apparently, there was trouble brewing in the world outside the Wet Market. The Very Important Politician was having trouble controlling his cronies, who were engaged in a power struggle for the post of Second-Most Important Politician. In the end, the Very Important Politician had managed to sort things out by kicking the one person who was causing trouble in the party.

“That’s my plan! We will kick Karikan out of the Spice Market, like how the Very Important Politician kicked his enemies out of his party!” proclaimed Dirty Tortoise proudly when Qicak came to visit him one day.

Qicak narrowed his eyes, stared straight at Dirty Tortoise, and asked, “Gee whiz, you think so? So HOW DID the Very Important Politician kick his enemies out of his party anyway?”

“Oh, Ah Choi never read me that part. But I do know how WE are going to kick OUR enemy out of our Market. But first, I need the help of some of our other friends. Hop on my back, Qicak, and we shall go visit Sonky the Funky Monkey and Wingit the Cherry Eagle!”

“Er… No offence, Dirty Tortoise, but wouldn’t it be faster if I went to fetch them here instead, rather than you plodding your way to them?”

“Oh… right. Yes, yes, go fetch them, my good friend! In the meantime, I shall have some tea (leaves)…”

And so, as Dirty Tortoise pottered off to Ah Choi to get some tea (leaves), Qicak scurried over to the Fruits and Flowers section of the Wet Market, carefully avoiding the throng of tourists walking hurriedly down the North South Yellow Path as fast as possible to avoid the smell of the Meat Market.

When she got there, she saw Sonky the Funky Monkey sliding around the Banana Stall on banana skins, apparently recreating the Jamiroquai Virtual Insanity video for Chiu’s amusement. Not wanting to disturb his routine, she headed over to the Apple Stall, where she found Wingit the cherry eagle cleaning his feathers in a soup bowl.

“Hey Wingit, Dirty Tortoise and I need your help to get rid of the mean curry powder man in the Spice Market. Can you come over tonight when the Market is closed so we can discuss Dirty Tortoise’s plans?” she asked.

“Why of course, my pretty little gecko. I would be glad to,” said the cherry eagle. “And I am glad that it is I, Wingit the magnificent cherry eagle, whom you have turned to in your hour of need, so that I may be your eagle in the sky, soaring to meet your enemies, and defend your honour when you are under siege by…”

“Yes, yes, that’s nice, Wingit. And bring Sonky along as well. Tell him we’ve got his favourite banana flavoured tea leaves,” said Qicak.

“WHAT??!!?? You will have me, Wingit the magnificent cherry eagle, work alongside that… that… funk music loving non-bird? I will not have it, no ma’am, for I am too magnificent a creature to be working with that degenerate four-limbed animal!”

“We’ll have apple flavoured tea leaves as well, Wingit.”

“Oh? Well alrighty then. See you later, my dear gecko!”

Feeling mighty good about herself for accomplishing her mission (geckos are very uncomplicated creatures – they get satisfied very easily), Qicak began her journey back to the Vegetable Market, half skipping as she scurried along the North South Yellow Line. She was so happy and wrapped up in her proud achievements that she failed to heed that fleeting sense of danger she got just as she crossed the Big Yellow Crossroads. By the time she felt it, it was already too late. Her surroundings went dark as a large hand swooped down on her, and grabbed her by the tail, lifting her off the ground!

The hand lifted Qicak higher and higher, as she squirmed and flailed around in vain (Oh how she wished she was like her household gecko cousins, whose tails could break off when in danger!) until she could look right into the eyes of her captor. It was Karikan, the mean curry powder man!

“OOOH WHAT IS THIS?” boomed Karikan. “A LIZARD in the MARKET? How do we allow these PESTS in the Spice Market? Come with me, you little pest, I have a nice little cage in my stall reserved for pests like you!”

And so, off he went back to his stall, with Qicak still struggling in vain to escape. When Aunty Wu Qian saw that he had Qicak, she pleaded with Karikan to let the little gecko go, but Karikan refused steadfasted-ly, proclaiming, “ANIMALS HAVE NO PLACE IN A MARKET. THEY WILL CONTAMINATE OUR SPICES!”

Upon hearing that, Aunty Wu Qian burst into tears, but still Karikan refused to give Qicak to her. Instead, he walked straight to his stall, took out a steel mousetrap from underneath his chair, and threw Qicak inside, locking the door after her.

“YOU WILL STAY THERE UNTIL I FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH YOU IN THE MORNING,” he boomed. “NOW I NEED TO GO HOME AND WATCH THE MANCHESTER UNITED GAME.”

And so, Karikan closed up his shop with the cage inside, and headed home, ignoring Aunty Wu Qian’s crying pleas on the way out.

Unknown to both Karikan and Aunty Wu Qian, there was someone who had seen what had happened – Dirty Tortoise, who had been trudging his way through the drains to the Spice Market when Qicak was captured. He had been prepared to wait a bit longer to execute his plan, but once he saw what happened, he knew they could not wait any longer. They HAD to get their friend out of danger and make sure Karikan did not harm anymore animals in the Wet Market.

That night, when Wingit the cherry eagle and Sonky the funky monkey turned up for the meeting, they were greeted by a very determined looking Dirty Tortoise, and no Qicak. They knew immediately that something was wrong.

“Sit down, gentle animals,” began Dirty Tortoise. “We have a very grave situation that requires immediate action. Qicak has been captured by the mean curry powder man, and it is up to us to rescu..”

“Where’re my banana-flavoured tea leaves?” interrupted Sonky (who was never very bright in the first place.

“WILL you be QUIET and listen to our esteemed general, you lunk-headed four-limbed mammal,” scolded Wingit, sending Sonky into a sulk.

“Thank you, Wingit. Where was I? Ah yes, the rescue. I have a plan, but for it to work, I need you two to help me get a couple of things…”

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